managed to get something done today which is a miracle when you think consider what the day in the life of a lost soul in London can be. Starts of well as usual, with a short ride into London. Following some unforeseen personal problems that were in no way part of my control, I received a text from my mum saying my aunt had another attack.

A bit of a history lesson concerning my mums family, well in a crude way it’s a short history lesson, as my mums side seem to be plagues by early deaths and constant illnesses. Right now my mums miraculously surviving parents seem to be in and out of the hospital and my mum has resigned to it being a “mater of time”. I don’t think I can understand her pain, and I don’t think I will, because selfishly I have taken it for granted that both sets of my grandparents are alive. At the age of 24, not many people can claim that. Although my parents have both experienced some sort of grief, the only grief I suffer is of an emotional dilemma that seems to revolve around the opposite sex!

However the news of my favourite aunt having another brain attack through a lesion. In case you’re not sure what a lesion is, its simply an abnormal tissue in the body that has unfortunately grown in or around the brain of my aunt causing clotting. Although not al lesions require treatment, whenever there is a blood clot, this can lead to severe results. As a consequence, the first attack my aunt had was 4 years ago, and this left her weakened but enough energy to fight on and get back to normal within the year. I remember being uterrly shocked that day and although not religious, i found myself staring upwards inside the great dome of St Pauls and just hoping i could somee kind of hope.

However the doctors failed or did not want to interfere with another delicate swelling and this caused a more grave attack later on, which left part of her body slightly paralysed, and in a way, resembling the effects of mild stroke…and now she is back inside again….

the reason im writing this at some god forsaken hour, is not to enlighten you concerning the delicate illness terminology , but maybe to get something out of my system…

When you hear news of someone close to your heart is suffering whether it be a grave illness or even a personal problem there is something inside you that just wants to throw everything to the ground and go to the aid of that person. Today I felt that urge twice. My aunt is someone who seems to think the world of me, god knows why! On the few occasions when I call her up, I don’t get the usual grandma rant of why didn’t you call, but instead it’s a long talk about life, girls, and what team her son is going to play for when he grows up. One thing I will always love her for, is the fact that she was one of the relatives who told me to stay another year in Japan and to live my life, and to make sure that I am happy no matter what. Unfortunately my own parents even weren’t the most supportive when I called them to say sweetly that i didnt want to cme home until another year, (albeit slightly high from the sulphuric fumes of Mount Aso in Kumamoto). I don’t think im the best at keeping in touch, but her kids, my cousins, who are barely in double figures seem to run to the phone just to have a word with their cool older brother (or so Id like to think!!)

There is the usual cliché of why does this happen to good people? Is there a deeper meaning behind al of this….and the only answer I have is no there is isn’t ! There is only one thing. A motto that seems to be at the core of this blog and the reason why this blog was created. You have to life your life.

As I sit tomorrow in the class and learn about how one company can measure its cash better than another, and what discount rate to use, I think I owe it to my aunt who lies in a hospital bed, and her children , and her husband who suffers from MS, …I think I owe it to them, to look away from the screen and take a moment to think about how lucky I am and how I can live whatever is left from my short life to the best of my ability