Have awoken from a deep sleep

I think its been more than a month since I last wrote anything. To be honest there was anything too write, or so I thought. I thought with exams, stress of personal and family problems, I have hit a brick wall of imagination, and yesterday iv been helped to get rid of that brick wall.
A good friend has returned, temporarily, from Japan for a friends wedding. In fact, this is the same friend whose wedding I will be attending in a few months time in Kyushu. There hasn’t been an opportunity in a while to “get away from it all” and now I found the perfect excuse to meander away from the overweight bag of stuffy notes and crushed books.

I often say to myself, I wish I had done this “sacrifice” earlier, and then visited Japan. I would have appreciated it in the same way we appreciate the one day of sunshine and clear sky in England. It would have felt like a new experience every morning, to wake up and smell the crisp countryside air and look around at the acres of rice fields. I would not have been so hung over every Saturday and Sunday morning and woke up with a massive headache in a humid glass house having forgotten to turn the air conditioning on and left the refrigerator door open! However I think there is an element of luck in doing this before you do enter this rat race or whatever you choose to call it…

You can look around and see many heads down, on the train, in the office, walking on the pavement etc. You can go to a party and bump into someone and apologise profusely but still end up with a punch in the face, you can go to your local and just look at the binge drinking society that is too scared to really think who they are and what they are doing…

However if you are lucky, you can try and take what you have learnt from an experience and bring that energy with you wherever you go, no matter how bad it can be. When I came back, I tried to use that “genki”ness to help me through the rough cold winter mornings, living at home and being restricted in what I wanted to do…I didn’t have a car, I didn’t know how to go from one place to another….my sense of adventure was rapidly diminishing and the need to feel young and new was slipping into a conformity that I had not experienced for two years. Here I am again, a bit of energy shared between my friend, a few words of advice and maybe I can carry that feeling again…to try and see the good in every situation and in every person….how long its going to last I don’t know.

There is no point pretending to be someone you are not, and unfortunately that is all you see in London. Through no fault of their own, the religion of a society dominated by materialism and money has sickened me. I wont shy away from the fact that that I do live in a big house to put it mildly and when I do come home I am served by no other than an Indian maid who my mum has slipped through the immigration border ! I wont be embarrassed to admit that there is an element of laziness on my part as I put my feet on the table and a cold glass of freshly squeezed lemon juice is brought to me on a tray, but I have never let it pull me into a false sense of comfort that this is what I want in my future life. Of course everyone needs a certain amount of money. Everyone wants to be comfortable. It would be lovely to hear the honest words of a rich man…I wish I could have spent more time with my son, I wish I was there for my wife…Maybe im making myself feel good by these assumptions, but the thing is, none of us in London seem to want to appreciate anything that is free…I just talked to one of my friends and her boyfriend was at home. I told her, to go outside and enjoy the weather, but she said they haven’t got any money…who needs money for a walk in the park, for a nap under the tree with a good book and a bottle of wine and some fruit…Where as my 34 year old mate who is just starting to piece his life together feels enlightened by skimming pebbles

There is no reason to not appreciate life without money, without experiencing life as if it was a fresh start everyday…and im going to do that from the 2nd of September when my exams end.

Im not I know how to save you, but l try…

With that, il leave you with two lines that I read just now

“two looked out from prison bars,
One saw the mud, the other saw the stars”…